Quiz #8: “Narcissistic Pattern… or Emotional Chaos Pattern?”

This helps users separate two common experiences:

  • Narcissistic-style: control, entitlement, lack of empathy, punishment
  • Emotional chaos (often BPD traits): fear of abandonment, unstable identity, extreme swings, frantic reactions

True / False (24)

Answer True if this fits your partner.

A) “Control + Entitlement” Signals

  1. They act like rules apply to me, not them.
  2. They seem to enjoy winning more than resolving.
  3. They punish me when I disagree.
  4. They rarely show empathy when I’m hurting.
  5. They get cold or dismissive when I need support.
  6. They rewrite history to avoid accountability.
  7. They seem to feel entitled to forgiveness quickly.
  8. They turn everything into my fault.

B) “Fear + Panic + Instability” Signals

  1. They fear being abandoned and react intensely to it.
  2. They go from loving me to hating me fast.
  3. They accuse me of leaving them even when I’m not.
  4. They have emotional breakdowns that feel out of control.
  5. They take small things as rejection.
  6. They spiral fast and say extreme things.
  7. They idolize me, then suddenly devalue me.
  8. They can be very loving… and very cruel… in the same week.

C) “Both Can Be True” Signals

  1. They threaten breakups or abandonment during conflict.
  2. They use guilt, shame, or rage to control outcomes.
  3. They don’t repair after conflict — it just resets.
  4. They seem addicted to drama.
  5. The relationship feels unstable no matter how careful I am.
  6. They accuse me of things constantly.
  7. They don’t respect emotional boundaries.
  8. I feel responsible for keeping them emotionally stable.

Scoring (simple)

Count True’s in each section:

  • A total (1–8): Control/Entitlement
  • B total (9–16): Fear/Instability
  • C total (17–24): Overlap

Results Interpretation

  • High A + Low B → Narcissistic-style pattern is more likely
  • High B + Low A → Emotional chaos / abandonment-driven pattern more likely
  • High A + High B → High-conflict dynamic with mixed traits (very common)
  • High C → Regardless of label: unstable + unsafe relationship pattern

✅ Next quiz: Quiz #9 (Is it addiction/immaturity/anger?)